Henceforth, I shall be known as a poor-excuse-of-a-poet.
A little or no credit at all may be rewarded, for my ever brooding and pessimistic self.
Without further ado, my impromptu poetry while entertaining payroll disputes.
10 shots to delirium
a woe unwept.
for unmet deadlines
a well-deserved break
craving for alcohol
my liver in demise
quench this yearning
a substitute
for your lips
untangle this tongue
one shot at a time.
Alrighty then, you can now throw the rocks.
Now, this is Commonwealth Ave, Quezon City
Ahhhh, yes. Upon reaching the elliptical road, you’ll see an invisible sign that says ABANDON HOPE ALL YE, WHO ENTER HERE!
Commonwealth, where precipitation is directly proportional to the amount of people getting robbed, held up or ran over.
Prior to moving to the unchartered territory, I was blazing the busiest streets of Makati . That was circa 2005. Aaaah, yes, Makati . It’s where you occasionally bump into Starbucks-drinking Expats or simply scour your way out of a group of yuppies who are parking their overpaid asses along the sidewalks during yosi breaks. Yes, Makati where the fastest mode of transportation is brisk walking or via osmosis.
During job hunting, it is not advisable to wear your high heels as it will just bring so much pain in your calf muscles that you would wish a.) You can manipulate time and space continuum or b.) have so much S appeal that you can rouse a random hot guy to carry you to the next loading zone (or if you’re that lucky score a free ride..HOORAY!)
But of course that would be like reaching for the stars because really in this day and age there are no such things as knights in shining red Ferraris ever ready to rescue you especially when the line in the MRT can be compared to that of the Eraserhead’s concert.
Hokay, moving forward , somewhere in the outskirts of C.W. is where the chorewhore gets her paycheck in exchange of Friday nights, weekends and at times her soul.
But other than that, C.W. is an alternate dimension where:
Yup! Thanks to eirene, best camper buddy one can ever ever have.We made it to WordCamp! We’re early but didn’t quite make it as a recipient of the early bird awards.
In fact, we didn’t get any goodies, except the ones the gave you after the camp is over. I want a WordCamp mug. Pfft!
Matt has a lot of fan girls and…..ummm…boys too. No photo opportunity for us. I don’t really want to haggle with the general population.
I had fun with the sessions. I gained alot of insight actually, which makes me what to rethink and ponder….am I a responsible blogger?
Uhm… NO. Number 1, my blog is sooooo not informative. Number 2, adsense what?????
We actually joined the none-techie talks because yeah, like I care about CSS? and plugins? I mean, seriously I hardly even change my WP template because I really lack the skills and the patience of editing it.
Will I ever make money out of this blog? Answer: HELL NO! [Well, not in the near future maybe]
Because who will ever pay you to talk about epic failures and what not? I mean what is your market value in terms of your writing style? How engaging are you?
So yeah, I learned alot from Blogging 102: Basic and Beyond and Building a Blogging Community and most especially Blogging and Journalism.
I.ph…. what happened to that demo? hahaha. I still think I should have won that free hosting domain shiz….I am still your loyal blogger, don’t worry.
I will definitely join if ever there will be a next one.
Hokay that’s it. I think everyone’s still in that after party. FEH!
August. Reunions. *sigh* Last August 22, because of mandatory and obligatory reasons I met up with my maternal kin. Well, hello FAMILY! It’s been a while since we last saw each other.
I remember the show THAT’S MY WIFE. You know, the one where the host gives out random facts and the contestants (the husbands) raises their card and says THAT’S MY WIFE.
Yeah. I can definitely win that if the show is called THAT’S MY FAMILY.
So here’s the random list of factoids, I could raise my card to:
1. Your Aunt upon seeing you for the first time (after let’s say 8 years) embraces you and drowns you with a thousand smooches. It will leave a mark on your cheeks and you will feel like the same old obese, asthmatic three-year old they used to call—-UTCHIKIKAY.
2. They still can’t spell your name right, UTCHIE, UTSIE, UTCHI. How hard can it possibly be U-T-C-H-E-E?
3. Your relative values TOGETHERNESS (literally and otherwise) even if you have to sit your ass in the compartment for the entire duration of the long drive to your Uncle’s house.
4. Your family has a bad case of SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS and eventually you’ll have ALZHEIMER’S by 30.
5. You were asked if you tried dieting for the last 24 years of your existence. And you came up with a reply like: “I tried reversing the food pyramid but I failed”.
6. Your aunt applies the CONSISTENCY AND VALIDITY method in questioning you ” When will you introduce us to your boyfriend?”. You were asked three times, DINNER, AFTER DINNER and the MORNING AFTER.
7. Your constant reply to the age old question are the variations of: I INVOKE MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY, THAT QUESTION IS IRRELEVANT or OBJECTION, THAT QUESTION IS SELF-INCRIMINATING!
8. Your rule of thumb is the less you talk the better— the lesser the likelihood of you becoming the butt of all jokes.
9. Your cousin is still an ass. He will not lend you the PSP even if you fake a seizure.
10. Nothing has and will ever change. You’re still a push over. They will make you eat vegetables, sit up straight, or stop slouching.
One conclusion, you can arrive at is: You’re still the obese, asthmatic three year old they call UTCHIKIKAY.
ETA
Last August 30, I met up with my paternal kin for the very very very first time. Crazy right? It took us 24 years.. That’s another story to tell.
August 31. I’m supposed to bid adieu to my maternal Aunt, who’ll be flying to the States but my spiking fever prevented me. Boohoo. I missed my chance of getting my early Christmas gift. Whatta bummer.
So yeah. I’m sick and until now, I’m still coughing ang puking eeky green stuff. This probably means… STAY AWAY FROM REUNIONS. HAHAHAHAHA. No, kidding.
August. Reunions. *sigh* Last August 22, because of mandatory and obligatory reasons I met up with my maternal kin. Well, hello FAMILY! It’s been a while since we last saw each other.
I remember the show THAT’S MY WIFE. You know, the one where the host gives out random facts and the contestants (the husbands) raises their card and says THAT’S MY WIFE.
Yeah. I can definitely win that if the show is called THAT’S MY FAMILY.
So here’s the random list of factoids, I could raise my card to:
1. Your Aunt upon seeing you for the first time (after let’s say 8 years) embraces you and drowns you with a thousand smooches. It will leave a mark on your cheeks and you will feel like the same old obese, asthmatic three-year old they used to call—-UTCHIKIKAY.
2. They still can’t spell your name right, UTCHIE, UTSIE, UTCHI. How hard can it possibly be U-T-C-H-E-E?
3. Your relative values TOGETHERNESS (literally and otherwise) even if you have to sit your ass in the compartment for the entire duration of the long drive to your Uncle’s house.
4. Your family has a bad case of SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS and eventually you’ll have ALZHEIMER’S by 30.
5. You were asked if you tried dieting for the last 24 years of your existence. And you came up with a reply like: “I tried reversing the food pyramid but I failed”.
6. Your aunt applies the CONSISTENCY AND VALIDITY method in questioning you ” When will you introduce us to your boyfriend?”. You were asked three times, DINNER, AFTER DINNER and the MORNING AFTER.
7. Your constant reply to the age old question are the variations of: I INVOKE MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY, THAT QUESTION IS IRRELEVANT or OBJECTION, THAT QUESTION IS SELF-INCRIMINATING!
8. Your rule of thumb is the less you talk the better— the lesser the likelihood of you becoming the butt of all jokes.
9. Your cousin is still an ass. He will not lend you the PSP even if you fake a seizure.
10. Nothing has and will ever change. You’re still a push over. They will make you eat vegetables, sit up straight, or stop slouching.
One conclusion, you can arrive at is: You’re still the obese, asthmatic three year old they call UTCHIKIKAY.
ETA
Last August 30, I met up with my paternal kin for the very very very first time. Crazy right? It took us 24 years.. That’s another story to tell.
August 31. I’m supposed to bid adieu to my maternal Aunt, who’ll be flying to the States but my spiking fever prevented me. Boohoo. I missed my chance of getting my early Christmas gift. Whatta bummer.
So yeah. I’m sick and until now, I’m still coughing ang puking eeky green stuff. This probably means… STAY AWAY FROM REUNIONS. HAHAHAHAHA. No, kidding.
